The Lessons We Learn Having Two Puppies

This blog is going to be about the lessons we are learning from having two puppies in the house. Some were learned just this morning, so here we go.


Lesson One, one should not try to catch up on any sleep on the couch because Moose Mutt aka Torean will assume that you are simply laying there for his amusement and continually wake you up because he is using you as a springboard to launch his attack on the Baby Shark aka Simon.

Lesson Two, do not try to appease the Moose Mutt to have him calm down by calling him up the foot of the couch where you are sleeping because he will proceed to throw all of his weight up to you and sit on your stomach waiting to be petted.


Lesson Three, do not think that making Moose Mutt get down on the floor to play with the Baby Shark will give you any peace and quiet because they will keep coming over to you during their play session, and trap you in the middle.

Lesson Four, do not think that switching ends of the couch will give you any peace because Moose Mutt will again jump up sitting at your feet and sliding the cushions off so he can hang over Baby Shark and play bite him thus driving Baby Shark into a biting and growling frenzy before he climbs up on the couch to bite Moose Mutt.


Lesson Five, when both children have played to the point where they are collapsed on the floor sleeping together, do not expect the peace to last because being babies that they are, one will not be able to resist waking up the other one and starting the chaos all over again.

Lesson Six, do not expect to charge anything you value while both puppies are awake because they will either keep unplugging what you are trying to charge, or find the cords delicious and continually try to run off with them, especially laptop cords (ahem Simon)


Lesson Seven, do not assume that setting your shoes on the floor for any period of time is a good idea because they will either end up in a puppy mouth, or slid into some unreachable area because the nut brothers have blown through.

Lesson Eight, when the Baby Shark is ready for mischief do not dangle fingers or toes off the couch while trying to read because he will take this is an invitation to nibble thus attracting the attention of Moose Mutt and again you are caught in the middle of their battle and any hopes of quiet are hopelessly dashed and you give up.


Lesson Nine, do not assume that because the baby gate is up it will keep Baby Shark or Moose Mutt in the living room. No, Baby Shark will have to prove that he can climb over it by taking a mad leap over his dog food bag, crawl up the gate and shoot into the dining room. When this happens Moose Mutt becomes jealous and tries the same thing thus making things fall over and scaring both animals and anything in the vicinity.


Lesson Ten, when considering having two puppies in the house make sure you are fond of the names you have chosen for them because you will be saying those names constantly. Example, Simon I thought I told you to stay out of the cords, Torean, if you don't want Simon biting you don't go over to him and start something then act offended when Simon wants to play. Simon, don't bite Torean there, you wouldn't like it if he did it to you.Torean, don't slap Simon in the face with your paw, he isn't doing anything to you. I swear to god neither one of you is happy unless you are starting something with the other, fine, bite each other, I give up. Don't come hiding by me when you are sick of playing.


Lesson Eleven, while trying to take both boys out at the same time to potty seems like a good idea, it is really chaos waiting to happen and any hopes of the boys going potty are hopelessly dashed because it must be playtime again.


Lesson Twelve, putting a bandana around Moose Mutt's  neck to celebrate Daddy's Scottish heritage might seem like a good idea, and the Saltire flag might go beautifully with his fur but Baby Shark will see this as a never ending source of fascination and keep trying to go after the bandana until you are finally forced to remove it until Baby Shark gets a little bigger.

Lesson Thirteen, and this is a good one. DO NOT assume that when it is hot, and you have two rambunctious puppies, you have any chance in hell of getting the fan. If the nut brothers are not constantly unplugging or moving it, they are plopped in front of it fighting to see who can get the most air. And if that is not bad enough, in comes Blizzard to claim her fan rights, and then comes the glare down and inevitable cat/dog fight.


Lesson Fourteen, monkey see, monkey do. Enough said.


Lesson Fifteen, do not assume that because it is quiet both boys are sleeping. Quiet usually means that one of them has found something to get into and you are forced to open mouths and pick out whatever morsel they have decided to try and eat only to get the offended look before said puppy goes into the corner to sulk.


Lesson Sixteen, when taking a puppy to the vet always make sure you have a baby bag on hand filled with toys, pee pads, and antibacterial wipes. Heaven forbid a baby should get bored while waiting for the vet, or they decide it is time to potty and you clean it up so you don't get charged by the vet for a cleanup fee on top of every other charge.


Lesson Seventeen, do not think that putting Baby Shark in his crate for a cool down is going to put an end to the fighting that got him put in there in the first place. If you put Baby Shark in his crate make sure you put the baby gate in front of it otherwise Moose Mutt will insist on laying by the crate teasing and making Baby Shark cry louder. IT'S NOT FAIR MOM! HE STARTED IT AFTER ALL!


Lesson Eighteen, do not assume that because Moose Mutt barks at Baby Shark, Baby Shark will take the warning and back off. No, instead he rears up on his back paws and barks back until you have to separate them to cease the barking then  they both complain loudly that they got split up, and your sanity is questioned.

Lesson Nineteen, do not assume that putting Moose Mutt outside in his kennel so he can have some alone time will get you rewarded. Deprived of his baby shark chew toy, Moose Mutt will sit and bark his head off at an offending robin looking for worms until you go out and quiet him down, then he will expect you to sit there and play with him because he is bored.


Lesson Twenty, even though you try to keep treat time separated neither puppy will be happy unless they are fighting over the same treat, and around and around they go until one of them gives up and waits for the next go round.


That concludes this blog of lessons we have learned having two puppies. And if things keep going the way we are expecting, I will have a new round of lessons shortly. This blog is intended to be humorous, I am in no way complaining because we all love the chaos having Simon and Torean has brought into our life. We have never owned two dogs at the same time before, so everything is new and exciting. I do not think I would ever go back to having one dog again. Here is to lifelong puppy brothers, mischief, mayhem and adventures!